So, This Stock-boy Wouldn't Tell Me Where The Wreaths Were So I Took A Swing At Him. Listening: I never dreamed that I'd need someone like you. I never dreamed that I'd lose someone like you.
Today was a good day off. I crawled out of bed at half past ten, chatted with some people online, called a few people, met Bouldering for lunch, chatted with her from half past noon to about a quarter past four, came home, met Ye-ah and The Violent One, went grocery shopping, came home, started cooking, had Glare and Totoro over for chicken pot pie, had some ice cream, chatted until eleven, and here we are.
Something funny that happened today.... I have a couple of scabs on the knuckles of my left hand, which everyone asked about today. I made up this bogus story about how I threw down with a stock boy at Crate, because he wouldn't tell me where the wreaths were. I think that Ye-ah and The Violent One may have bought it for a few seconds at least. The truth was that I was carrying a large load of dishes for the cute designer girl at Crate on Saturday. So, I had these dishes and I was carrying them around, because the girl was cute, and my left had rammed into a big display crate, skinning my knuckles, and that's how I got the war wounds.
Anyways, I have to go to work tomorrow and I get to laugh at my boss. Hahaha. Laterz, doodz.
When It Rains It Pours. Listening: Six minutes to sunrise. Baby, now, what're we gonna do?
It's late I know. I don't have work tomorrow, but I do have a number of engagements that I have to tend to. I'm having lunch with Bouldering at noon-ish. I'm supposed to get together with Ye-ah to cook dinner. I wanna hook up some chicken pot pie, since beef has a bad stigma lately. I also want to browse jobs online and start pushing out some cover letters and resumes.
So, I decided today that I'm gonna start testing the "when it rains, it pours" theory, as well as play the numbers game in a bunch of aspects of my life. Jobs, girls, activities all that. It's gonna be an interesting next few months. I'm wondering what'll pan out if anything at all.
So, I'm prolly not gonna be working at Crate for much longer. I asked the manager what the possibilities of staying on one or two nights a week after the season, and she said it wasn't good. Apparently, they have very low sales between January and May. She said that there may be a chance of me being re-hired in the summer, but then again, I may not want to work during the summer. I may stay on-call too. You know, if they need someone, I'll come in and cover. I'd keep my discount that way too.
Today was amusing. I worked open to close, eleven to seven. Those are their normal Sunday hours and I get time and a half for it too. That rules! I bought something for PJ which I sent out in the mail and I bought myself a rug for my bathroom. Originally, I was justn looking for a bathmat, but ended up getting the double sink rug, because it would stretch from my tub, past my sink, and would end on the other side of my toilet. this means I have carpet in all of the major areas of the bathroom. Rockin', huh? I thinks so.
I tried to send out an e-mail to people inviting them over for New Years Eve, but The Violent One didn't receive it. So, what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna send a general invite. Don't have anything to do for New Years? Come over to my place. Shoot me an e-mail at the link to the left to let me know you want to come. I'll shoot you directions to the pimptastic pad that is the House of ZEN!!!
It's twenty past two. I want to sleep now. Laterz.
Gifts That Didn't Start Giving And What To Do With Them Listening: Keep on making the same mistakes. Keep on aching the same heart break. I wish you only love me, but I wished too late.
So, I was reading a post on another blog about gifts and stuff like that. Now, when you give or receive gifts, it really is the thought that counts. I acknowledge and I appreciate that. With that taken care of and acklowledged, I can get on with the crux of my dilemma.
Sometimes when you see the actual objects that are given, you think to yourself, "What on earth were they thinking? I have no use for this!" And you accept the gift graciously and acknowledge the idea that they thought about you for this holiday.
What makes a good gift? Really. What makes a gift a good gift? I think there are multiple things that make gifts good. First and foremost is the thought. If you're just giving someone something for the sake of giving them something then that's just whack. Save it. No one wants a charity gift. No one wants to feel like someone felt obliged to give them a gift, so if you didn't really want to give someone something, chances are, your gift will be poor.
Second, I think that what makes a gift good is that it is a reflection about the recipient of the gift. I'm not saying that it should be something like, "Oh, ZEN!!!'s Chinese... I should get him something Chinese." I'm saying that a gift to someone should be something that made you think of the recipient. No? If it's not, then I think you're skipping out on my first rule of gift giving.
Finally, I think what makes a gift good is usability. If you're going to get someone something because you're thinking about them, then it should be something also that they will use and when they use that thing, they should think about you. It's true that not all gifts are tools, though most men want them to be. It can be art. It can be food. It can be any number of things. As long as whenever they use/look at/listen to/taste/whatever, they think of you. So, I guess what I'm saying is that it should be a reflection of both parties.
Now, inevitably, there will be some gifts that you're not too fond of either from friends, family members or people at work (not bloody likely for me). What do you do with them? Those gifts are physical embodiments of the thoughts that the giver had. Can you just throw out the thought? I mean, if the gift isn't doing anything but cluttering up your space, can you just chuck it, or is that disrespectful? What do you do? Are you doomed with the bad gift like a white elephant? What do you do? If you chuck it, it doesn't mean that you don't appreciate that they thought about you, it just means that you have no room in your life for another trinket or whatever.
I've got to admit, that over the entire twenty five and a half years that I have been alive, I have had a number of doozie gifts, birthdays, christmas, whatever. I don't know what to do with them. Maybe I should make a sculpture out of them, because I'm not doing much with them now. Because I like the practical gifts, the usable gifts, does that make me no fun? Because I don't necessarily know what to do with "fun gifts," does that make me bland?
It is possible to give and receive fun AND utilitarian gifts. Those are the ones I really like. They're gifts that keep on giving. Example: The Calphalon pans that my parents got me. Man, I love those things to no end. They're fun and useful. Example: Box of Kitchen Gadgets form Crate & Barrel. It's tru that I don't use each and every one of the gadgets every day, but I'll go to do something that would necessitate having one of these gadgets and I have it. A whimsical gift that has a practical use.
So, I think that's my little manifesto on what makes a gift good. I was just thinking about it and thought it would be good to put out there.
Just Another Day Off Listening: But don't hesitate, 'cause my love won't wait.
So, today was Christmas, and I didn't do much of anything. This was the first time that I have had Christmas away from my family, and to be honest, I actually think I needed it this year. Meaning, I needed a complete day off. That's what today was for me. It was a catch up day. I did five or six loads of laundry, watched three movies, napped, cleaned and that's pretty much it.
I didn't really talk to anyone. I had dinner at my grandparents' place and hooked up a videophone that my uncle got for them.
I was kinda glad not to get caught up in the hype of the season. I didn't need to go around trying to find the perfect gift for anyone. I didn't need to go out and spend mad loot.
I should prolly go to sleep soon. I have both jobs tomorrow. I should prolly talk to my boss about staying on after the season is over. I'd like to stay on one or two nights a week. Eyes droopy. Must sleep.
So, I Was Wondering... Listening: 'Cause we know we're fallin' from grace.
Why I never got any comments. The truth is that I was getting comments, but YACCS had a new code that I needed to put in for the new blogger. Now I found a bunch of comments from Digitaldewi, PJ, The Violent One and Boochie. It's amazing how much I've missed.
Being Helpful And Mindgames Listening: I want your love. And I want it now.
So, a lot of interesting things have been going on. SCUBA and FOP have both been out of the office for the past two days. As the days went past after SCUBA called me a pussy and I called him and asshole and useless, I have grown more and more resentful of my situation within my group at the Corporation. So I have decided to have a little fun while prodding myself at the same time.
Since day one at the office, I had pictures up. Pictures of my pals from college, pics of Rebound Girl and I, pics of me competing at Danvers two years ago. I also had toys all over the place. I had a Stitch that shot guns and a Badtz Maru bobblehead and millions upon millions of kids meal toys, because whenever I couldn't decide what to eat or whenever I wasn't hungry enough to get something real, I would get a kids meal. Toys everywhere. A kung fu hamster that Japanaphile sent me once. It was all in my cube. My cube was a fun warm place in the cold space of my office. Two nights ago, that all changed.
Two nights ago, after nearly everyone had left for the day, I took down all of my pictures and put them into my bag. I took all of my toys and I put them into my bag. They no longer exist in my cube. Now, one might ask why? There are a couple of reasons why. The first one was to give myself a kick in the ass. It was to say to myself, "This cube is not your home. Everything that's important in the world for you is outside of this cube. Live for what's outside of the cube and don't let what's inside affect you. This is not home. Go and find a job that you could call home." That was the first reason. The second reason was to send a clear message to everyone. My days at the Corporation are numbered. I am on my way out so be prepared to reap the whirlwind when you figure out that you don't know how to do dick and that you should have spent a little bit of time having me teach you what I know. The final reason was to scare the shit out of SCUBA. He's out all week. He comes in on Monday when I have off. I want him to think that I have quit. I might actually ask the guys who work under me to say, "I don't know if he quit... Last time I saw him on Friday before I left, he was in a really bad mood." I am gonna laugh my ass off when I come in on Tuesday. Wake up, SCUBA. It's time to pay the piper. No, wait. The piper doesn't want your goddamn money. The piper wanted your first born the whole time.
Today was a good daty at Crate despite the fact that I was placed in the addition. I was placed there with someone else, so I had someone to talk to and I wasn't tied to the counter. I spent a bit of time talking to the cute designer chick in the stock room. And I felt like I was an extremely helpful customer service agent. I helped several people who weren't finding what they needed to find. I was bending over backwards for them and they appreciated it. It was fun. What I can't stand is when people demand the customer service. These people today were good though.
I helped one girl find a mirror that she put on hold and no one else on the floor could seem to locate. She was very appreciative. Then there was this one couple who was trying to buy a set of ten napkins and placemats for their parents. We could only find eight in the entirety of Boston proper and the People's Republic of Cambridge and they were in our store. She appreciated the ransacking of our stock area for napkins and placemats and the calls we placed. I felt really good about looking for the stuff for her. The there was this guy in his late thirties who was looking at the cocktail shakers and wasn't finding what he was looking for. He was actually looking for a Boston shaker which is a pint glass and a nickle tumbler. So, I referred him to the restaurant supply store in Chinatown. Again, the guy was appreciative. Man, it was great. Also, some of the people that I like working with the most were working. I was psyched.
Anyways, it's late. I was late to work this morning and on Monday morning, so I had better get to sleep soon. I only have a few more bites of applesauce left. Canned soup and apple sauce for dinner at midnight. Well, I was at least eating at the same time that OC Girl was eating. She called me at eleven, about five minutes after I got home. I talked to her for a half hour. I miss her lots. Time to bounce on offline.
8+5.5+0+8+5.5+8+5.5+8+8=56.5 Listening: You found hope. You found faith, found how fast she could take it away. Found true love. Lost your heart. Now you don't know who you are.
That is how much I worked this week. I am torched. Completely torched. Today was my day off. I wanted to cook and stuff. It didn't happen. I had just enough energy to warm up some jook, clean the apartment and fade in and out of consciousness on my couch for the majority of the day. I did, however, happen to watch Ten Things I Hate About You twice. You know about my whole Julia Stiles thing.
Carpenter, Totoro and Glare came over to pick stuff up that I got for them at Crate. I like getting stuff for my friends there. I really think that it's high quality stuff. Most of it is, at least.
I finished one of the mixes that I was working on. And that's pretty much it. Work and sleep.
Last night, I worked at Crate from two o'clock until ten o'clock, came home and went out about fifteen minutes later to Soul Revival. That's all I have to say for now. I'm pretty tapped out. I'm gonna go to sleep soon.
Lost In Translation Listening: More than this. You know there's nothing more than this. Tell me one thing. More than this.
Today was a better day. Still not a great day, but a better day. I got all of my work done quickly and efficiently. I didn't talk to anyone really. I did my work, worked on my resume, walked around downtown for lunchtime, came back, finished, and left. It was as simple as that. No one got on my nerves and no one was being a dick. I think SCUBA finally got the picture. He's stopped with the buddy-buddy-ness around me. I kind of like it. I think that ninety percent of buddy-buddy-ness is superficial bullshit that I don't need in my life.
SCUBA put another one of the workers on my team on final warning. Now I have to be all pleasant to him or else he's gonna say that we never gave him a chance. He's been in the group longer than I have and I've been promoted ahead of him. Bullshit we never gave him a chance. I really don't want him to get canned, but that's up to him. If he goes, though, as I said before, I go. I am not going to absorb his work.
Anyways.... I need to go to sleep soon, so I'll shorten it up.
Crate was fun today. They finally put me back in the gourmet section. THANK YOU! I must have moved at least three or four thousand dollars of merch by myself. I was selling Kitchenaid Mixers, food processors, Calphalon pans. It was out of control. This one woman bought three hard anodized Calphalon commercial nonstick pans. Ridiculous. The night flew by so fast that the first time that I looked at my watch, it was half past eight and we close at nine. I was working with one of the more chatty fun girls today too. Really personable girl. She knows very little about the gourmet section, so she deferred all questions to me. I felt like Mr. Kitchen. All I needed was an apron and a spatula. Oh, wait, at one point in the night, I had both.
Stocking was insane. By the time the store closed, we hadn't had time to get a head start on the stocking, so our department was in shambles and we were missing product here and there. This girl I was working with and I had a system going on. I attempted to make a list throughout the night of things that we needed. It was almost three pages long. I was in the stock room filling up totes. When one was full, I would call her and she would get it and stock the floor. It went much quicker than if we were both doing both parts of stocking, the searching and the setting up.
Anyways, I have to be into work tomorrow early. Yeesh! Gonna go to sleep now. Hopefully I'll have another good day, though I'm gonna doubt it.
"Noah.... I Want You To Build Me An Ark." "....Right...." Listening: She won't forsake me. I'm loving angels instead.
Have you ever felt like the world was conspiring against you? You know, like the universe has it in for you and wants you to tap out? I'm going through one of those weeks. After a horrible Monday, I had a chillin' Tuesday because of calling in dead. When I come back to work on Wednesday, it's crap all over again. My boss called me a pussy today so I called him an asshole. What's the worst that could happen? I would get fired? I welcome it. It was all over Monday's workday. I told him that we need to sit down to talk about what happened and how to remedy the situation. He asked me if I was pussying out on him. I said, "Listen, asshole, you're not the one who's picking up all of the slack around the group. You make no difference in my workday. If one of the workers and you are out, it's the same as if just the worker is out. If it's you and two of the three other workers are out, it's the same as if just the two workers are out. I'm busting my ass for the client and I am getting zero help from you." That was the gist of it at least. He's bringing up some issues to HR about one of our workers. But, I tell you, if he cans this worker, no matter how shitty of a job I think he does, I will quit. It's not worth it to me. I will quit, because the work won't be picked up by everyone, it will be picked up by me. I will end up being the guy who has to do all of the work.
For the past two days that I have been at the Corporation, I have left work both days so angry that I can't see straight. I can't eat anything. I can't do anything. All I can think about is throwing punches. I told my mother that I would meet her after work early at three for some food because I didn't take lunch or coffee, which meant that I would leave early. When I met up with her, I wasn't hungry. We went to Quincy Market and all I could find was a Arizona Carrot Cocktail and a couple of Dill Pickle flavoured potato chips. I couldn't even eat the full bag. This is what I had eaten up until five minutes ago starting from morning until now:
1 large cup of coffee (from home) with cream & sugar. 10 Spearmint Altoids. 3 Pieces of Orbit Wintermint gum. 1 Snack bag of pretzels from the vending machine. 1 20oz. bottle of Canada Dry Ginger Ale. 1 20oz. bottle of Arizona Carrot Cocktail juice. 15 Dill Pickle Flavoured Lays potato chips. 1 12oz. cup of cold water from the water cooler at Crate & Barrel. 2 Pieces of Orbit Wintermint gum. 1 12oz can of Schweppes Ginger Ale.
This is not healthy.
It's half past eleven and I'm eating leftover Chinese rice porridge (jook/congee). This is not a good thing.
Speaking of Crate & Barrel, things over there haven't been going so smooth. I've been stuck in the "Addition" for the past two work shifts. There is no where in the store that I despise more. It's so boring. There's no one to talk to and you can't leave the room. Then one of my bosses there tells me to unwrap a million ornaments, which I found out later have no place to go. ARGGG!!!! Everything that I needed to stock was out of stock. One of the girls that I find attractive was working tonite too. Too bad we didn't realize that each other were working until about a half hour before it was time to leave. Frustration.
Soul Revival is this Saturday. I work this Saturday night closing Crate & Barrel. Perhaps I can get someone to pick me up to go. That would be really great. I need to release. Donald Glaude is spinning at Avalon on Friday the nineteenth. I would like to go to that too, but I have a friend who is having a going away party. Yeesh. ARGG!!!! Someone come save me!!!!
Fans In The Middle Of Winter Listening: You know you're never defeated.
So, an interesting thing happened to me this evening as I was watching Gilmore Girls. I got an IM message. It was from a girl I knew from swing dancing. She, in the past, had read my blog. I hadn't talked to her in quite some time. I guess something in my blog inspired her to seek me out. She identified with something that I had written one day and just decided to shoot me an IM out of the blue. It was kind of cool.
We IMed for the majority of the night. I think Queer Eye For The Straight Guy was on by the time she left to grab some dinner. We had a really nice conversation about jobs, dating, dancing and food. It was just the kind of conversation that you need on a pick-yourself-up day such as today.
To tell you the truth, in the past, and she even said this, our conversations lasted on the average for five, maybe ten minutes. I think that this was by far our longest conversation. One of my other friends, one from dragon boat, once told me that we got to know each other much better once she moved down to DC and was IMing me while I was at work every day. I find that all amusing.
Anyways, something that I wrote in my December fourteenth posting struck a chord with her. We agreed on something in there, I think, or she found a though of mine particularly interesting. That is why I write this blog. It's not simply to put myself out there bare for all to see, but it's to maybe touch someone who may be feeling like no one else feels like they do, but after reading my blog, feeling like someone out there does. I think that some people who click into my blog feel that. I don't know everyone who clicks in. Sometimes I'm curious, but I don't really need to know. But the fact that someone outside my close circle of friends would respond positively to something that I put out there makes me feel good. I just wanted to get out there and say that.
Calling In Dead Listening: And the dream that pulls us together, girl, is the dream that keeps us so close yet so far away.
I woke up this morning at eight thirty just to call in sick. I didn't talk to anyone. I just got voicemails. I guess it was all for the better. I didn't really want to talk to anyone. I just wanted to roll over and go back to sleep.
I finally woke up at around eleven. It felt nice. I was ready to get out of bed. I woke up, put on coffee, and took a shower. The shower was iffy at best. I've been having issues with the hot water in my bathroom. The hot water in my kitchen is fine. However, I can turn on the hot water in my bathroom for five minutes and have a fifty-fifty chance of actually getting hot water. Today's shower was half hot and half cold. Not so pleasant. I made a call today to the management company to ask some questions. Unfortunately, the person that I was looking for wasn't there, so I left a message.
I really haven't dome much today. My mother came over to do laundry and I made myself an omelette for breakfast. It was green pepper and pepper jack cheese. Tres tasty. Nothing tastes better than food that you've cooked yourself. It was also very relaxing chopping up the peppers, slicing the cheese, cracking the eggs and waiting for it all to cook properly. I like cooking a lot. It's therapeutic. I'm trying to figure out what to cook on Sunday. Like today, I have the whole day off and I plan to use it to cook. I want to make something warm and tasty. It'll be a me day.
Anyways, I'm gonna have dinner over at my grandparents' place. After that I plan on coming home, watching Gilmore Girls, a show that I haven't seen in over a month, and working on my mixes. I have a lot of whittling down to do. With one of my mixes standing at three and a half hours, I have to chop that down by two thirds.
So I have to go now. Maybe an update later. Maybe not.
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! Listening: *Something in Spanish*
I just had the worst day of work ever. It's half past eleven. I got home a half hour ago. I hate everybody at work. I'm going to drink a beer now, and call in dead to work tomorrow. Gonna make more gumbo tomorrow too. SCUBA and the Corporation can suck on my big hairy balls. Blow me bitches. Ten bucks says that the funds are in shambles after an unexpected day of me being gone. I feel as bad as Saddam looks. I look as bad as the devil perching on my shoulder telling me to fuck their shit over.
All Things Considered... Listening: *whoooooosh ratta-tat-tat-tat*
Right now, it's snowing... again. I can't begin to tell you how much I can't wait for the springtime to come. I hate the winter. Winter is when slushy shoes begin, when salted pant cuffs being, when drafty windows begin, and when people begin to alcove at home. However, all things considered, and in comparison to other years, this hasn't been that bad. I've been so busy that I haven't really taken time to notice the holidays. I haven't taken time to go out and notice the joyful people. It's always the joyful people that get to me the most. I think it's all of the work I've been doing.
Tonite I had a conversation with Japanaphile about balance, compromise, risk and such things. It seems as if I don't know what I want of my life. Well, I know what I want, but the way to achieve it eludes me. I know I'm looking for greatness. I know that I want to provide a buzz one way or another. I know I want to be a productive person. I know that in the job I'm in now, I could disappear and things could work. I'm not saying it would work well or anything like that, because my team personifies the "human error" factor. Bu I think that if there was a legitimate computer system, no one would have to do my job or the jobs of people that I work with. If everyone just took the time to do things right on the client end of things, and we had a well-written computer program, my whole industry could be replaced. That disturbs me. I want to be someone or I want to do something that would be helpful to someone in a meaningful way. I want to hold a thanked and appreciated position in my life. I don't know if I do that. I feel like a lot of the things that I do in my life, whether it be in work, in the "fun" activities that I choose to participate in, or in my social life, I feel like the things that I do aren't necessiarily appreciated or that I am that I'm not thanked for it. I realize that there are times that I am in fact appreciated or thanked that I'm not acknowledging here. I'm just saying that on the whole, I don't think that I am.
I don't think that I know how to get out of this rut. I don't know how to get out of here and onto somewhere else, somewhere that I have somewhat equated with San Francisco. I don't known how to justify the past two and a half years of my life. I don't know how to justify my work ethic and the way that it has taken me. I don't know how to write a convincing cover letter to put my foot in the door and I don't know how to defend my resume. I don't know anything more than my dissatisfaction with my quality of life.
Granted, my quality of life has gone up. I'm no longer sitting in a dark apartment with my grandparents with no computer and no music. I no longer have to defend my life to my parents who now see how miserable I have become. I now have a place where I can insulate myself from other people, where I can live by my rules and listen to my music at my volume. I can drink my coffee made my my coffee maker while waiting for my wonderful chicken gumbo to finish simmering in my stock pot.
I think that another way that my quality of life has improved is that, over the past few years, I have learned a lot about the kind of women that I really do like. I know what I want in a woman. I know what kind of person that I ultimately want to spend the rest of my life with. I learned that there are a lot of flashes in the pan, and like any other fish, I look at the flashes, but I also have recognized them mostly as beautiful decorations, nothing that adds anything real to my life or to the quality of person that I am. What I have found, I want to chase. But, I hold back. I hold back because of uncertainty and the possibility of being crushed like I have never been crushed before.
Something that I have discovered over the past eight years of my life is that I want someone who is looking for someone like me. I mean, besides all of the great things that they do or say or feel, I really think it would be great to meet someone who finally wants me like I want them. I have yet to find that in life. I'll hear girls that I like talk about the kind of guy that they want to meet and I will haphazardly point to myself, when I know, in reality, that I'm not even close to what they're looking for and they're not even close to what I've been looking for. It's hard being a guy and being a chaser. I'm sure it's hard being girl and being a lurer. I only know one side of the coin though.
Something else that I have learned over the past couple of years is that some of the people that you least expect to think the world of, you end up thinking the world of. There are some people that you're automatically going to say, "That person is awesome." But there are a large number of people who I have initially thought sucked big rocks or who I thought were fantastic, but given time, they have turned out to be the contrary. Not all of the examples are that extreme, but there have definitely been some people who I have said, "Oh, they're too this," or "Oh, they're too that," but after a while, I recognized their excellence. I love when this happens, because it comes like an epiphany. A light bulb just turns on and you realized that the person you have been looking at in black in white actually has a touch of bright vibrant color.
Well, this has all been stream of consciousness kind of thinking.... So I'll end that part here. I should be going off to bed. I have to be at work early tomorrow, because FOP and another guy under me will be out, so I have to go in and cover a desk... or two. Fuckin' a. Then I have Crate after that. It'll be a seven o'clock to ten o'clock workday. I'm going to come home and I am going to pass out. It's gonna suck. Luckily.... Okay, there is no luckily sound about it. I'm gonna get bent over and fucked tomorrow like a first day tax evasion convict in a maximum security prison. I'm likely to end up with a schiv in my ear too.
What I Did On My Lunch Break Listening: Maybe you want to give me kisses sweet...
Life wasn't supposed to be like this. Up until now, nothing happened as it should have. From the conception that happened to the trouble he got into for making fun of Jeremy Minke's sister on the school bus in fifth grade to the prom that he had to scramble to find a date for to losing his virginity to a girl he didn't know to the dead end job that he had now, it all wasn't supposed to happen. But it did.
From birth, Ari always had to be different. In his mother, he was turned in such a way so that his head was located somewhere inside his mother's rib cage, necessitating a C-section. The date was carefully plotted out weeks in advance to have him delivered only to have the date changed a week before it was to happen.
"No, no no," the doctors said. "We have to push it back another week. If we take him out too soon, there may be complications."
So, there sat Ari's mother, fat and bored, in the living room, because she already scheduled her maternity leave. Even then, she was ready to get rid of Ari. During that week, while alone in the house, she would stand in the middle of the living room with her feet more than shoulder width apart and would jump up and down shouting, "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"
Needless to say, since Ari was a stubborn boy, he waited the extra week to make an appearance, which required an epidural and an ice pack for his father's eye after his mother socked him for "getting her knocked up." When Ari was finally delivered, he didn't make a sound. Not a peep. He just looked upat the doctor after taking his first breath and sighed.
It took the doctors a few seconds to make sure that Ari was, in fact, alive. He was deemed "lethargic, but alive." With all of that cleared up, the nurses wrapped Ari in a blanket and handed him to his mother.
"Oh, no, doctor," Ari's mother said. "I think you must have switched my bay with another. This one is ugly."
There were no other babies in the room and Ari had been delivered no more than five minutes ago.
That's when Ari's father chimed in by saying, "Oh, look! He has your cheeks!" shortly before needing an ice pack for the other eye.
When Ari was six. he made his first best friend. Ari's father had just moved the family halfway across the country to take a job at Monsanto working as a chemical engineer for Stain-guard carpet. Ari later found out that this was motivated by the fact that he would often trip while running around the house with a sippy cup full of grape juice.
Let's See What You Really Know Listening: NPR streaming audio about domestic violence against men.
I stole this from Hapachan. I'm curious what y'all may say about me.
i need some attention...i need some loving...please pay attention to me=)
01. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 02. Am I lovable? 03. How long have you known me? 04. When and where did we first meet? 05. What was your first impression of me? 06. Do you still think that way about me now? 07. What do you think my weakness is? 08. Do you think I'll ever get married? 09. What makes me happy? 10. What makes me sad? 11. What reminds you of me? 12. What is my best quality? 13. How well do you think you know me? 14. When is the last time you saw me? 15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 16. Do you think that I could kill someone? 17. Who would play me in a movie? 18. If I were to be a color, what one would I be? 19. Describe me in one word. 20. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 21. Do you think that I am stubborn? 22. Are you going to put this on your blog and see what I say about you?
Meshing Days, But A Vacation Day Found Listening: Ain't nobodywho loves me better.
It's been really weird. Since I have stopped blogging from work, my blogging has become irratic. Since I started working at Crate & Barrel, it has become more irratic. And since my grandmother got sick, it has become downright non-existant. With all of these thing going on in my life, all of my days have been blending together. I've been getting less sleep than usual, and my eating habits have become about as irratic as my blogging. Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad.
There was a time when I would grab a Powerbar and go to dragon boat practice and I was happy with that. There was a time when I was working so much overtime that it was bad. I haven't quite figured out what this period is.
Work at the corporation has been not so much fun lately. I've been overly frustrated. I'm sure you can tell from talking to me and from reading past blogs. It has just gotten out of control lately. I've been dropping mad hints that I'm not happy. I've actually hit SCUBA over the head with it several times. He still negelects to do anything.
Of course, my grandmother being sick doesn't really make me happy. What makes me increasingly unhappy is that I have become a sort of hub of information. Can't get a hold of my mother? Call me! Missed my mother's call? Call me! Need someone to set your mind at ease? Call me! It's been a bit stressful. Last night my phone rang four times in a row at a quarter past midnight or so. First, my mother called me to tell me that she had tried to call my grandfather twice, but he didn't pick up. Then my grandfather called me to ask me if my mother had just tried to call him because he couldn't find the handset to his portable phone. Then my mother called me back to ask if my grandfather just tried to call me, and to tell me that she was going to try to call him again. Then my aunt called me and asked me what was going on because she couldn't reach my mother or my grandfather. It was ridiculous. Granted, I was still awake, but my phone was on my charger in the other room and I was intently trying to watch Battlestar Galactica on the Scifi network. A lot of the phone calls I get regarding my grandmother's status are extrenious. Things can be slimmed down into a mere few sentences (not run on and sans conjunctions, adverbs and multiple predicate phrases). So that's been stressing me out. I don't think I would be nearly as stressed out as I am about it if people just slimmed everything down.
Finally, Crate & Barrel has been great. I've had a lot of fun working with the people that I'm working with. It is absolutely the lone fun thing that I have going on in my life with the exception of my pimptastic pad (complete with suede chairs). The people there are all so incredibly nice. The girls there are attractive. Ninety percent of the guys there are gay, so I don't really worry much about how I stack up to whoever. They all seem to dig me there too. Sometimes I feel like they're treating me like employee of the fuckin' month. It's ridiculous. All of the managers there are nice. All of the workers there are nice. The work is easy, but fulfilling and gratifying. I'm using my hands, to an extent, and I'm using my brain as well when it comes to explaining appliances, gadgets and glassware to people. I really do hope I can stay on for a while after the season ends. I really think that I have gotten in good with the crew much more than some of the other seasonal workers. Plus there's a designer there that I have a small crush on. But then again, when don't I have a crush. Even if I didn't have this crush, I would still have the crush that I keep in my heart and mind.
Yesterday and today, I had the day off from the corporation. Yesterday morning, I got a call from FOP at half past nine in the morning. Since it had snowed something fierce this past weekend, no one had made it into work. Myself and one other guy had the day off. Of the remaining three, only FOP showed up by half past nine. She asked me if I was coming in. I told her that I had the day off and asked her if she wanted me to come in. I knew she wanted to say yes, but ended up saying no. I laughed my ass as I drifted off back to sleep.
That night was my first full stint in the Gourmet department at Crate & Barrel. It seems as if we can't keep anything on the shelves. Half of our gadgets are below what they should be. They're always on order or on the truck coming the next day. I think someday they should double up their order so that they have everything they need for at least a day. It was fun though. I closed up the department by myself, sold a hand mixer and explained to a really attractive light skinned Indian(?) Persian(?) South Asian(?) girl that we had no peelers left in the store, but wished her well on her creme brulee attempt. She bought ramekins, a spatula, and a wisk. Perrty gurl.
Today was my vacation day. I got one call from my grandfather. I woke up at ten in the morning and was out the door by eleven. I went to Star Market and back, then I walked to Inman Square to pick up some spices, to Whole Foods to get some okra and then to Central to hit up lunch with Stringbean and The Violent One. After that I got a ride home and started cooking. People tried to distract me with IMing, but my mission was clear. GUMBO, muthafucka! That's right I have been cooking for the past three to four hours. I have learned a lot. Lesson one: Fresh okra has some gooey crap that comes out of it when cut... Not like oozes out, but it produces some sticky substance that makes little stringies (like spit traveling from your lip to the dentist's spit bowl). Lesson two: a roux takes fuckin' forever to make. Lesson three: GUMBO FRIKKIN SMELLS LIKE HEAVEN! So here I am now, a mere fifteen to twenty minutes away from spicy goodness. Will it need some more red-hot? Only time will tell.
Trusted But Alone Listening: Just an old sweet song keeps Georgia on my mind.
Just a quick note... Tuesday, SCUBA called in sick. It was just as well, because it would have taken him five hours to get to work anyways with the squalls of snow falling. It seemed like such a surprise to people. For crissake... It's December. Snow should not be a big surprise.
At Crate & Barrel, I was working in "The Edition," which is a room on the second floor, all of the way in back. There is an exit to the store there, so I can never leave my room without coverage. This was great and it sucked all in one fell swoop. It meant that they trusted me enough to be in a high risk theft area by myself, but it also meant that I had virtually nothing to do all night. I interacted with a few difficult customers. I stocked a bit. I shopped (though I didn't buy). That was it, from four thirty to nine in the evening, I was running solo. I was also hot as hell up there. I was wearing my turtlenecked "Matrix" Sweater, which was just excessively hot.
Today, I passed the buck on a lot of work. I passed it off on the people who should have been doing it in the first place. I also had a lot of reports to look at. They're much like TPS reports, but I could only dream of them being as fictional.
Came home. My mom roasted one of the turkeys that we didn't eat for Thanksgiving. I picked up some stuff that I got on craigslist. And that was my night. It's late now though, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Laterz, yo.
Sorry it's been a while on the blogging tip. I've been busy with friends in town, a relative in the hospital, a new job and a job that I think bites the big one. Let's start where I left off.
By last Wednesday, I was fed up by work. I was convinced that I would have to go in on Friday, because no one could cover these two special things that my group does. The new gut couldn't go it. The slacker guy couldn't do it. FOP was out and SCUBA doesn't know dick about these special things. You would figure that a manager would be able to step in and be able to do everything that goes on in his group, but, alas, no. When I went in on Wednesday and things were as haywire as it had been for the earlier part of last week, I went ballistic. Wednesday, I told SCUBA that what was happening, and what I had to deal with for the past two days was complete bullshit. I told him that I was taking Friday off whether the other people in the group knew how to perform these tasks or not. He asked me to make sure that the new guy knew what he was doing. I told SCUBA that I had taught him everything that he needed to know, but if he didn't remember it or write it down, it was on him. So, that's how my day at my "real" job ended.
After work, I came home and waited for Japanaphile, Totoro and Glare to show up. A few days before, we made plans to go to R.F. O'Sullivan's for some burgers. I believe that it was voted the best burgers in Boston for last year. I've been to Bartley's a number of times, but I had never been to R.F. O'Sullivan's. The place is much smaller than it looks. The bulk of the space is taken up by a large U-shaped bar which is attached to the open kitchen. I think that you could fit maybe forty people in there comfortably. I ended up ordering the swissroom burger (mushrooms & swiss). Originally, I wanted the black & blue burger (cracked black pepper and blue cheese), but Japanaphile wanted the black & blue so we could split. What we didn't know was that the burgers there aren't patties. They're more like slightly flattened meatballs. So with that shape of burger, it was kind of difficult to split in half and share. So I ended up eating my swissroom burger. It was a damn good burger, let me tell you. I think that I like the burgers there much more than I like the burgers at Bartley's. I think the service, amount of food and atmosphere are much better at R.F. O'Sullivan's. However, I believe the convenience, sweet potato fries, and lime rickeys give Bartley's merit as well.
Anyways, after R.F. O'Sullivan's, we came back to my place to watch Josie And The Pussycats on network TV while sipping IBC root beer floats. I have to say that Tara Reid plays the character with the lowest IQ to ever hit the big screen, and Rachel Leigh Cook is gorgeous, but after seeing her on a talk show, I think she's actually the dumbest actor to hit the big screen.
Also on Wednesday night, my grandmother was released from the hospital. But as of Thursday, Thanksgiving, it didn't last very long. After an episode much like the one that sent her to the hospital on the Thuesday prior, my parents flew into town by half past ten in the morning, and we ended up calling an ambulance for her. It was a bit surreal. I was pretty calm overall. So as she, my grandfather and my mother went to the hospital, my father, Japanaphile, The Violent One, Booch, Fester and I had dinner at MC2 in the Marriott Hotel in Kendall Square.
Anyways, she eventually stabilized and ended up getting admitted into the hospital. The current diagnosis is that she has some form of cancer in her adrenal gland. We're gonna have it removed sometime this week.
After dinner, everyone came over to my place and we watched some movies. OMG and Carpenter showed up a little later. It was a pretty good time considering that I had a relative in the hospital.
Friday was a pretty dead day. I was supposed to call Fester to go check out Kill Bill, but Japanaphile and I forgot. Friday night, I had dinner with Glare, Totoro, Japanaphile and two friends from college who were having a little birthday dinner. It was fun. For some reason, starting with Friday, I started to feel really big in comparison to some people. Like one of the girls who was having a birthday is tiny. I know she's tiny, but that night, she just seemed that much smaller. It was wikkid weird.
After waking up reasonably late, I went to work at Crate & Barrel. I have to say that I had the best time chatting with the other workers. There were a few girls, who happened to all have boyfriends, who I just had a really good time talking to and joking with. It seems like everyone there has a good sense of humor, or are at least are a little wacky, and have other things going on in their lives besides Crate & Barrel. A number of them are graduate students.
I happened to catch the T home with one of the hot librarians at Crate & Barrel. She's a third year law school student. I had to say that what she was wearing drove me up the walls. She was wearing a pencil skirt that went down to just below her knee, which was where her funky green and black Doc Marten-ish boots started. As a top, she had a little tank (maybe a girl's equivalent of a muscle tee... but sexier) that said Studio 54 on it. On her way out, she put on a tight, tight, tight black sweater and a black wool long coat. This girl could kick your ass. Well, my ass at least. Anyways, this girl is pretty nice. She's a bit of an activist, and world super-hero. I still don't know if I could ever date anyone like that, but it just seems like I have been attracted to a lot of girls who want to save the world. Some are quiet and some are loud. I personally think that if you're trying to save the world, you shouldn't be loud about it. Just do it and have people recognize later. Don't be a protester "cause-head."
When I got home from work, Booch, The Violent One and Japanaphile were watching the Tomb Raider movies. I am just thoroughly impressed with the dramatic content of those movies... NOT! I couldn't really be bothered to watch the movies, so I ate my dinner that Japanaphile made and called OC Girl back, because she had called while I was at work. We had a nice hour long conversation that spanned a number of different topics. It was a nice evening.
Sunday, a bunch of us went to the Blue Room for brunch, since it was Japanaphile's last full day in Boston. It was a group of Japanaphile, The Violent One, Glare, Totoro, Booch and I. I stuffed myself silly. Following brunch, I went to the hospital for a while to visit my grandmother and to see how things were and then to my grandparents' place to have dinner with my mother and my grandfather. Overall it was a pretty hum drum day. I did, however, manage to score four really cool chairs through The Violent One for free. They are chroms framed chairs with cushy suede cushions. It was such a score.
This morning, I left for work and Japanaphile was still here. He left sometime during the day. I don't quite know when. I believe that he made it to NYC by lunchtime, because he was supposed to meet someone for lunch there. I hope he got there alright. Work today was alright. A lot of it was spent alone in my cube. I did manage to scowl at just about everyone who looked at me, except for the cute new girl who will be gone at the end of the week. When SCUBA asked me if I was going to the Christmas party, I told him that I wouldn't waste my time in going. I didn't need to pay money to have food run out on me and to hang out with people that I had no real desire to hang out with outside of work anyways. I have better ways of spending what little holiday cheer that I have. Maybe I'll save it for Crate & Barrel.
Anyways, it's late. I need to go to sleep soon. So with that, I bid you adeiu.
